By Rabbi Yosef Shemtov:
This week’s Torah portion, Chaye Sara, talks about the marriage of Yitzhak and Rifka.
Avraham sends his servant Eliezer to his birth city to find a wife for his son Yitzhak because Yitzhak was brought on an Alter as a sacrifice and was not allowed to leave Eretz Israel to find a kosher wife for himself.
Eliezer goes to Avraham’s birthplace, Aram Naaraim. He pleads with HaShem that He find the right Shidduch for Yitzhak. Eliezer plans that the girl he asks would not only give him water, but also water to his camels. She is worthy to be Avraham’s daughter in law.
And that’s what happened. Rivka did offer to also give water to his animals. Eliezer then met her parents and the rest is history. Why did Eliezer choose this test? Why not any other good traits?
We see the most important element in marriage is the midda of chesed which is loving kindness. In Marriage, both parties might feel, “I have my own identity as well and need to think about myself” but from this Torah portion we learn that a successful marriage is when husband and wife have the trait of kindness.This way they always care about each other and their love for each other grows more day after day.