By Rabbi Moshe Vosoghi
As we enter into the Parshiyot of Yaakov Avinu, we get a close look into Yaakov’s father-in-law, Lavan. Lavan has the terrible distinction of being known for his deceptive ways. The Midrashim are replete with descriptions of how he constantly scammed everyone around him. Nobody was safe from his swindling. Not even his own family.
But what exactly did Lavan do that made him so capable of deceiving others? And, more importantly, is there anything that we can learn from his actions to grow in our own lives?
R’ Shalom Shwadron explains the secret to Lavan’s ‘success’. Lavan was so good at deceiving others, because he first deceived himself. Somehow, Lavan was able to convince himself of his own innocence. And he truly believed that his cause was just and correct. Once he had that mindset, not only was he justified in tricking others, but it was an obligation! Lavan was a master thief because he had no conscience telling him to do otherwise. We see this when Lavan explained to Yaakov that it was improper to marry the younger daughter before the older one is married. He accused Yaakov of being the one who wanted to change the tradition, and tear down the walls of all that is good and right.
Poor Lavan simply wanted to follow common decency! And we find at the end of the Parshah Lavan accusing Yaakov of trickery and deceit, all the while protesting his own innocence. While it’s easy for us to label Lavan as evil, it would be proper to recognize the instances in our own lives when we trick ourselves. When we really want something, like making a deal, or getting a specific shidduch, we rationalize and convince ourselves that we are right and the other person is wrong. Consequently, the way we react is correct and justified.
The more honest and truthful we are with ourselves, the more we will improve our relationship with Hashem and with others.
Shabbat Shalom!